Debby Tee, as
fondly called by her friends, was a brilliant seven year old girl in grade two
and had one of the best but fiercest class teachers. Mr Deen had a long black
cane, with which he threatened pupils to obey law and order in the school.
Though Debby Tee also feared Mr. Deen, she was one of his few friends because
she always got her sums right and was always in his good books. Little,
however, did anyone know that on a regular basis Mr. Deen would invite Debby
Tee to the side of his desk, tuck his hands through her pinafore and fondle her
genitals to his sexual satisfaction. Any attempt for Debby Tee to squeeze her
face or scream due to the pain she was experiencing made her teacher raise his
black cane as a sign to silence her.
This continued
for a long time and Debby Tee told no one. Her failure to disclose her ordeal
was unexpected because she was known to be highly extroverted and very
courageous. However, she gradually became shy, timid and slow to approach
tasks. She was always sensitive to comments of others about her, feeling unloved
and incompetent at about anything. These traits followed her into adulthood.
As an adult, Debby
Tee remained someone who always felt bad about herself, lacking the confidence
to be all she wanted. Her life was characterized by guilt and self-blame and she
was sometimes withdrawn. It always took an extra push for her to live her
dreams.
By age 30, Debby
finally broke the silence and reveals, “I couldn’t say it to anyone because I
was dead scared of Mr. Deen”. Apart from the fear of being flogged by Mr. Deen,
Debby said she was not sure anyone would believe her. Though a painful
experience, she also did not want to lose her relationship with one of the best
teachers in the school. She thought to herself; “who will nominate and prepare
me for school competitions?” “How do I throw all I look forward to down the
drain?” “I felt I could deal with it so I remained quiet, not knowing it had
its subtle effects on me”, she stated.
Debby Tee’s
story is true of one out of four girls, and one out of ten boys in Nigeria. One
of such people is I, the one writing this story. I am Debby Tee. I was abused
but told no one. Little did I know that all I repressed had huge consequences
which I lived with till I got help. Today, I have become a strong, passionate,
self-driven go-getter, helping and still willing to assist as many who do not
mind to share their stories so we resolve some of the effects together.
The experience I
shared above is my motivation for this current study and I thank you for your
interest to participate.
If you completed a questionnaire earlier and would like a feedback, kindly send a mail to olusola.okunlola@stu.cu.edu.ng. or click the link below.
If you completed a questionnaire earlier and would like a feedback, kindly send a mail to olusola.okunlola@stu.cu.edu.ng. or click the link below.
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If you have never completed the questionnaire and would like to, click the link below the image to your right.
Thank you.
